This movie, seeking a release some time in 1999, just lost Disney as a distributor. Written and directed by Kevin Smith, of Clerks (1994) fame, Dogma could have been interesting and not very offensive. Unfortunately, though, it succumbs to Smith's subconscious need to insert salacious and scatological material into the proceedings, for no purpose other than to shock his audience. By the way, I am not referring to the salty language, used by all characters, heavenly or otherwise.

Loki (Matt Damon) and Bartleby (Ben Affleck) are two angels who were cast out of Heaven thousands of years ago. They think that they have found a tricky way back in. It seems that Cardinal Glick (George Carlin), in an effort to get people excited about the Church again, has set up a plenary indulgence on the occasion of the centennial of St. Michael's church in New Jersey.

A plenary indulgence is a remission before God of all the temporal punishment due to forgiven sin. So, their plan is to become mortal by removing their wings, confess their sins, then step through the special plenary indulgence archway. After that, all they have to do is die, and it's straight up to Heaven--or so they think.

Actually, there is quite a bit wrong with the theology here, but grant Smith some poetic license.

The major plot issue is that since God condemned these angels, but also must support the plenary indulgence that would supposedly get them back up, a huge conflict exists. Since there is no resolution to this dilemma (Gospel according to Kevin Smith) God would just cancel all creation.

To ease all your minds, if there are any fallen angels trying to pull off something like this, any notion that they can just become human by removing their wings is blue-sky speculation, at best. Furthermore, Catholic theology teaches that no one but God knows for certain when a plenary indulgence is actually gained, because only He knows whether a person's dispositions are adequate.

In the case of Loki and Bartleby, the norm for disposition that all attachment to sin, even venial sin be absent, is clearly violated over and over in the story.

Now, back to the plot summary.

Metatron (Alan Rickman), the voice of God, informs Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) that she is the one who must stop the angels from going through the archway. Why her? Bethany, you see, is the last scion of Jesus. She is a descendant of one of Jesus' brothers.

Here again, the theology is skewed, as well as offensive. Even if one argues against Mary's perpetual virginity, few Christians would propose a normally conceived sibling of Jesus to be his full brother. Indeed, for all of Smith's posturing as a "devout Catholic," it is difficult to find a Catholic doctrine that he has not distorted or destroyed in this narrative.

Bethany will be helped in her task by Rufus (Chris Rock), the self-described Black 13th apostle, not mentioned in the Gospels, and two prophets, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith).

As this motley group heads from suburban Chicago to New Jersey, they have a series of adventures, including fending off an attack by a gang, and various creatures from Hell. One of the more forgettable demons they fight is Golgothan (Ethan Suplee), politely described as an excremental. I'll give you three guesses what this demon is made of.

Our heroes get some help from Serendipity (Salma Hayek), a fallen muse, who tells Bethany that God is a woman.

There is a huge battle at St. Michael's, and God, who has been kidnapped (don't ask), is rescued by Bethany, who is killed in the process.

Never fear, though, as God (Alanis Morissette) revives Bethany, and good triumphs.

Like I said, this could have been a decent pic if more attention were paid to theology, and less to scatology.