Pity the poor physician. He has to worry about whether to stay in private practice, partner with others, or join an HMO. He has to bicker constantly with the government about getting paid for treating Medicare patients. And what about figuring out ways to maintain his income, while the insurance companies are forcing him to charge less?

When he's not worrying about all those, he somehow has to keep up with the latest advances in medical technology, and the seemingly endless onslaught of new diseases. Finally, let's not forget that he has to come up with sky high premiums to cover the mistakes made by other doctors. WHEW!

Now, a new problem has come into his life. His patients are being bombarded with a stunning array of prescription drugs that are touted via television and print advertising. The most important thing in these commercials is the NAME of the drug. Other details such as what the drug does, or how it should be used, are barely covered.

"Do you know about ANTHRAXAPOL?" one white-clad actor medical type says, while another screams, "There's new hope for sufferers, so find out about PLACEBASELUNON!" And still another insists, "Now there's MELBEMISOTE to help."

All of these spots end with the same line: "Ask your doctor."

One can imagine what a doctor's office is like these days. Picture the poor physician on the phone, while four other lines are on hold. "Yes, Mrs. Smith. We've heard about DREXEBUSIN, but we haven't received the full information on it yet. No, I don't think that it's a diet pill. I'll call you just as soon as we find out more about it."

Or--"No, Jack, RELUXCOM isn't for you. It's for women."

What a great time to be a hypochondriac. Think of all the imaginary ills that can be dreamed up, to match the never ending production of new pharmaceuticals. You see!! He really was sick all along. The new drug proves it.

If all this keep up, your doctor won't have time to treat patients. But, the worst is yet to come. German pharmaceutical companies have been studying the American drug marketing programs. Just as soon as they obtain FDA approval, they will be advertising stateside. I can hear it now:

"You'll want to learn more about HEFFERFLUKENDRANIZEIT-ALPHA. Your doctor knows how it works. Be sure to ask for it by name."