We now turn to Laura Schlessinger, better known to talk radio fans as Dr. Laura. According to Michael Harrison, publisher- editor of Talkers Magazine, the industry journal, Schlessinger's program is second in listeners only to Rush Limbaugh's. This is quite a prodigious achievement for a pop psychologist, with a Ph.D. in physiology from Columbia.

The usual fare is whiny "poor me" calls from people who really don't seem too intelligent. After all, who would go on national radio and bare their soul--assuming that the calls are legitimate? One recent caller gave a name and location, and said that her husband was impotent. Odds are that the word got out!

Laura usually treats the callers pretty harshly, and in one notable case, actually found a truly sad story amusing. When the caller responded, "I'm glad my problems amuse you," Laura said that life should be amusing. So much for compassion.

OK, what gives? Again, this show is entertainment, not psychology, not by a long shot. After all, on what basis can a snotty, over-privileged woman dispense helpful advice, based on instant analysis of a situation? How much more disingenuous does it get than hearing Laura, knee-deep in cash, admonish a working woman for leaving her child in day care? The show's double- whammy appeal is voyeurism, and the great egalitarian concept that as bad as things are for me, it is so reassuring that others have it even worse.

Laura seems to take a strong moral stand, which, however, has all kinds of exceptions--the more you listen. Here's another factor, then: A multi-directional moral compass. What better symbol for the 90's?

If we have to compare Rush and Laura, Laura is far more dangerous. Sure, we can laugh at the ridiculous problems of her callers, but how many listeners really believe that she is dispensing good advice? Rush lets us vent, but Laura could be infecting millions with her pernicious advice.